All this time I’ve been living in California I’ve been doing things wrong, I guess. When there’s a speed bump on a residential street I’ve been slowing down and gently rolling over the bump, which I thought was better for your back, your car, and any small kids that might run out into the street. But that’s wrong I guess. Because today when I did that the pickup truck behind me honked. He honked again when I stopped at the stop sign at the corner. In my mirror I could see him making faces, gesturing and getting agitated. He was following very close. He turned left at the stop sign.

Apparently all these years I’ve been misinterpreting the term “speed bump”. I didn’t realize that it was comprised of verbs and was written in the imperative mood. I didn’t realize that it meant that we should speed up as soon as we come to one, and careen over it like we’re going offroad in our Chevy Silverado.