It’s obvious to me that the only natural way to get whiter teeth is through diet and nutrition. Therefore, I am going on an all-white diet. I will only eat white foods: yogurt, white bread, white potatoes, cauliflower, egg whites, mozzarella, hominy grits, white chocolate, and jicama. 

I made a delicious white rice, white bean, and cottage cheese casserole. I expect to see visible improvement up to three shades whiter in just 7 days. Or my money back. . . . Just kidding. 7 days is an arbitrary number. Make it 10.