Senator Doe Stands His Ground

“Mr. Doe, you’re a U.S. Senator and a loyal Trump supporter, is that correct?”

“I stand with the President 100%.”

“And you agree with Mr. Trump that the election was somehow rigged against him?”

“It most certainly was.”

“What would it take to satisfy you that the election was free and fair?”

“Well, there would have to be a full investigation of every allegation of fraud.”

“Well, Sir, state election officials have done those investigations and found no fraud. The U.S. Departments of Justice and Homeland Security have also found no fraud. And the Courts have reviewed Mr. Trump’s claims and found no evidence of fraud. So doesn’t that address all your concerns, Senator?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“I see. So what WOULD satisfy you that the election was free and fair?”

“Well I don’t know, there has to be proof that there wasn’t any hanky-panky going on.”

“What kind of proof?”

“How should I know, I don’t work in the election office. I’m a Senator.”

“So you’re saying that the people running the election are the ones who would know the actual facts.”

“Of course, that’s just basic horse sense.”

“And those officials have all confirmed the accuracy and fairness of the election, correct?”

“They said it, but they could be wrong.”

“All the state and local election officials across the country could be wrong? And you think you and Mr. Trump are right.”

“Yes I do.”

“And that’s based on . . ?”

“I told you, the election was rigged, there was fraud everywhere.”

“Senator, you’re up for re-election in 2022. Why should the people of your state send you back to Washington in two years?”

“The people of my state know I have always done everything humanly possible to improve their lives in every way.”

“Uh-huh. How much Covid relief for families, workers and small businesses are you voting for, Senator?”

“Well, we’ll have to see about that. This Covid thing has been way overblown. Very few people have died, it’s nowhere near as bad as what the . . .”

“Are you all right, Senator?”

“Yeah I just got a little dizzy there. Feels like there’s a weight or something on my chest, all of a sudden.”

“Gee that’s a deep cough you have there, Senator. How long have you had that?”

“Just the last couple hours, I . . .”

“Senator, the video output of your computer is a little blurry, but you don’t look so good. Do you have someone there who could take your temperature?”

“My wife Elaine is here but she’s in bed. She’s had the worst cold all day, can barely breathe.”

“Senator, my network is gonna call 9-1-1 for you. Okay?”

“9-1-1?”

“Yes, you know. One of those public services that you’re always saying will take us down the road to socialism.”

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