Tag Archives: politics

JUST DENY EVERYTHING. IT’S NEVER FAILED. . .

“I hardly know the lady.”
“Sir, she’s your wife, she’s the First Lady of the United States because she’s married to you.”
“Can you prove that ridiculous allegation? I don’t see any evidence.”
“Mr. President, you’ve been married to Melania for many years. You have a child together. She’s traveled all over the world with you.”
“You see, this is exactly what I’m talking about. You liberal media guys are just mouthpieces for the Democrats.”
“Mr. President, I’m with The National Review.
“Yeah? Well I don’t like smart alecks. Sit down and shut up or I’ll take your White House press pass away. You there, with the big cross and the NRA cap. What’s your question?”
“Mr. President, I interviewed you and Mrs. Trump just last month. My paper gave your campaign a big check and a special commemorative assault rifle. When Mrs. Trump said she’s afraid of guns you pulled the trigger just to show her it wasn’t loaded. The problem is, Mr. President, now you say you barely know her and, uh, it kinda, you know, makes my paper look bad.”

File:President Trump Delivers Remarks Upon Departure 2019-09-22.webm

“What the—”
“Mr. President, are you trying to distance yourself from Mrs. Trump because of—”
“I didn’t call on you, you’re very rude and out of—”

“—because of her statement today that she’s worried about you, that you’ve been talking Russian in your sleep and—”

“Security, I want that woman removed from this—”

“—and that you’ve been choking your pillow and calling out Rudy Giuliani’s name?”

“I don’t know that Giuliani guy. I think I saw him once at one of my country clubs, he was trespassing and double bogeyed the tenth hole.”
“Sir, over here Sir. In 2016 you said you would jump off your penthouse balcony if Melania asked you to, that’s how much you love and depend on her.”
“I never said that. Melania who?”
“Nice try, Mr. President. Every network has news footage of you saying that, Sir, and giving her a big sloppy kiss right afterwards.”
“It’s fake. They used computer tricks.”
“Mr. Trump, the whole world is watching this news conference as we speak. Do you realize that you are destroying any shred of credibility that you might still have had left?”
“That’s right, Mr. Trump, you can’t deny what the whole world sees and hears and what these cameras preserve for the record.”
“You guys think you’re so smart. Well how do I know that this is really me talking? How do I know that some Democratic conspiracy hasn’t built a fake me and put him up here at this podium to say things that make no sense? Maybe this whole room is a fake. Maybe all of you are hoaxes. Maybe you’re all holograms. Maybe the whole government is a hologram. Which means I’m a hologram. Which means I’m not the me that said that I’m me because I’m the me that someone else said was me before they realized that I’m a lot smarter me than that other me and I’m also twice as rich as that other me, and a hell of a lot better looking or why else would all those magazines and TV shows keep flashing my picture everywhere and why else would all those sexy broads keep flirting with me and make me do things that only a hologram could do and maybe I should ask for a better hologram, one with better hair, although really my hair is perfect, it was a perfect haircut, it was a beautiful haircut, there was nothing wrong with that haircut, there was no quid pro quo for any kind of investigation into anyone else’s haircut. Speaking of investigations, did you ever notice that it begins with the word ‘invest’? If they didn’t want rich people to own investigations and make money from them, they should have called them something else. Am I right? Any suggestions? Why do I see holograms wearing D.C. Department of Mental Health uniforms? Why are they coming towards me and smiling like Newt Gingrich? Why is Mike Pence coming towards me. Did you ever see a hologram with such a ridiculous smile?”

“Trip Wires”, a new story collection by Sandra Hunter

“She drowsed and wakened. Surely someone would find them. Was it better to be shot than to watch her child starve? In the cold, she held him close, and he slept and woke through the night, sucking at her dry breasts.”

In her new story collection Trip Wires, Sandra Hunter has an uncanny ability to get inside the heads of ordinary people caught in the widely-scattered wars that have defined, tragically, the beginning decades of this millennium. These are the ones who can get out and the ones who can’t. These are ordinary people who, in desperation to survive, do extraordinary things.

Their stories are disturbing. With harrowing realism Hunter shows us their poverty, their scars, their journeys, their nightmares, their courage. And sometimes their humanity. The above excerpt comes from the story “Borderland”. That story is a full-force punch to the gut, depicting a young mother fleeing a nameless war in a lifeless land. But the young mother discovers human kindness in places and proportions that no one could imagine.

These stories are not for the faint of heart, and it is natural for us to avoid emotional “trip wires” that unleash the shocks and horrors of war. But the suffering is real and, lying just beneath the surface of our world, we can’t avoid it forever. Maybe, with the insights of authors like Sandra Hunter, we can learn why we need to urgently defuse those senseless conflicts that have booby trapped our present and maybe our entire future.

Advice offered as from a wise old uncle

Listen, Judge Kavanaugh, I know where that anger is coming from. It’s pain, man, and you don’t need that, nobody needs that. You gotta let it go, man, it’s time. You don’t wanna suffer the rest of your life, it’s not worth it.

Don Grady William Demarest My Three Sons 1969.JPG

Whether you’re on the Supreme Court or not, you don’t wanna be bitter and angry the rest of your life. That’s no life. There’s only one thing to do, you gotta do this: You gotta face up and let it out. You gotta come to terms with what you did and you gotta let it out. You gotta get some therapy, man, and come to realize that kids do dumb things because they’re kids. Drinking, peer pressure, total immaturity, all those factors. But 98% of them grow up and grow out of it and that’s exactly what you did. You matured, you left those behaviors behind. I know, I worked in Juvenile Court for a number of years and I learned that kids are kids and they do a lot of rotten things because they’re kids and their brains and hormones are like refried beans and hot sauce and nearly all of them grow out of it when that magical thing called maturity (or indigestion) takes hold. You are a perfect case in point.

Sometimes, though, character becomes an issue and the memories are still there and the pain is there and you gotta deal with it. That’s where therapy comes in. And honesty, including honesty with yourself. It’s the only way. The only way to peace of mind. Life is too short, man, nobody needs that kind of thing hanging over their head. The guilt. It’s not too late. It’s the perfect time. Take a deep breath. It’s not too late for Justice Thomas, either. With all due respect, he could finally find some happiness, some peace of mind, some joy even, if he just opened up and finally came to grips with what he did, and what he denied. You don’t wanna be a bitter, angry judge for all those years, nothing could be worse. I have a feeling that, if you face up to your past with courage and honesty and come to terms with it, you could be a pretty decent Supreme Court Judge. Way too conservative, of course, but decent and reasonable and compassionate.

And you might be surprised at how forgiving people can be. Forgiving to those who have hurt them and forgiving to themselves. Boy, it’s the best thing. But you can’t force it.

I wish you luck.

Advice offered as from a wise old uncle

Listen, Judge Kavanaugh, I know where that anger is coming from. It’s pain, man, and you don’t need that, nobody needs that. You gotta let it go, man, it’s time. You don’t wanna suffer the rest of your life, it’s not worth it.

Don Grady William Demarest My Three Sons 1969.JPG

Whether you’re on the Supreme Court or not, you don’t wanna be bitter and angry the rest of your life. That’s no life. There’s only one thing to do, you gotta do this: You gotta face up and let it out. You gotta come to terms with what you did and you gotta let it out. You gotta get some therapy, man, and come to realize that kids do dumb things because they’re kids. Drinking, peer pressure, total immaturity, all those factors. But 98% of them grow up and grow out of it and that’s exactly what you did. You matured, you left those behaviors behind. I know, I worked in Juvenile Court for a number of years and I learned that kids are kids and they do a lot of rotten things because they’re kids and their brains and hormones are like refried beans and hot sauce and nearly all of them grow out of it when that magical thing called maturity (or indigestion) takes hold. You are a perfect case in point.

Sometimes, though, character becomes an issue and the memories are still there and the pain is there and you gotta deal with it. That’s where therapy comes in. And honesty, including honesty with yourself. It’s the only way. The only way to peace of mind. Life is too short, man, nobody needs that kind of thing hanging over their head. The guilt. It’s not too late. It’s the perfect time. Take a deep breath. It’s not too late for Justice Thomas, either. With all due respect, he could finally find some happiness, some peace of mind, some joy even, if he just opened up and finally came to grips with what he did, and what he denied. You don’t wanna be a bitter, angry judge for all those years, nothing could be worse. I have a feeling that, if you face up to your past with courage and honesty and come to terms with it, you could be a pretty decent Supreme Court Judge. Way too conservative, of course, but decent and reasonable and compassionate.

And you might be surprised at how forgiving people can be. Forgiving to those who have hurt them and forgiving to themselves. Boy, it’s the best thing. But you can’t force it.

I wish you luck.

May the Farce be with you

Now we know what Trump and Putin were talking about in their private meeting in Helsinki. Space Wars. Maybe they already have a board game designed and the whole summit was set up so they could try it out without anyone looking over their shoulders. Maybe they had a couple of those lightsabers from last year’s Star Wars convention and were jousting all over Gothic Hall in Helsinki’s Presidential Palace while their highly-paid advisors were standing outside in the hallways looking lost.

Because if Trump is so gung-ho about creating a Space Force, a sixth branch of the military, you better believe Putin is just as gung-ho about the plan. What better way for the two bullies to distract attention from real issues, award giant contracts to their friends in the military arms industry, and, at the same time, have a heck of a lot of fun acting out their science fiction fantasies.

Nevermind that our space programs already have cost billons and billions of dollars with little real benefit to our struggling species here on earth. Nevermind that we already have plenty of terrestrial wars and genocides and terrorist attacks to keep us busy day and night just adding up the number of deaths of innocent victims.

Maybe Trump will appoint William Shatner as Commander of the Space Force and Harrison Ford as Chief of Star Battles. On second thought, he’ll probably appoint his sons. Their birthdays are coming up.